nursing.

I went home on Thursday off a whim because my mom was somewhat handicapped and my dad had to work the next day so I thought I would take care of her. Well, it was more than just a thought it was more of a calling. Friday came around and I was hauling my mom around her rollie chair and doing whatever she needed me to do. I was basically her nurse. By the end of the day, she was exhausted and I was exhausted; but, I learned a great deal of sacrificial love and why I was called for this one specific duty on this one specific day. God has really made me realize how much my mother has sacrificed for me in the last 20 years and this was the least, least, least I could do for her. Taking away my life and my weekend in exchange for a whole weekend filled with nursing my mom around is all worth it. There are a million things I could be doing this weekend but Jesus decided for me to stay here with her.
I woke up this morning asking questions such as:
What if I had to move back here?
Quit school?
Live at home?
Not being able to see my friends anymore?
Being apart from the body that Jesus has blessed me with in Denton?
Not being able to go to my home church?
Living a whole new life?
These were really scary questions that I don't know the answers to and that's the most terrifying part. My family is falling apart and there is so much that has happened recently but my faith in the Lord is growing stronger than ever and I know for a fact that HE WILL COME THROUGH.

I also took the time out in the past two days to read Platt's book Radical. He explains that we perceive God as a loving, wonderful God who will grant you everything you want in your life. WRONG. The bible tells us that we are enemies of God, sinful people who think that we have life but really we don't. How can we create life for ourselves anyway? When we are clearly spiritually dead. We need to come to realize that we are desperate, thirsty, DEPENDENT on God to do things that we could never do for yourself and that's life. Depending on every breath, everything. I'm learning to be dependent. I'm learning to need. GOD. Without Him, I am nothing. I am nothing and I need to be used.

Lord, take me to where you need to be to go. Lead me. I WILL follow you.