basketball testimony.

I am in awe. My heart is leaping out of my chest contemplating about how beautiful Jesus is. I can't stop thinking about how much I made a difference today. Originally, the plan was to talk at a youth basketball game and get some money for mission trip. But, God had a better plan for me. He completely calmed my nerves and encouraged me to speak words of glory all to Him. My joy for life is all through His glory and I would not be here without Him. My mindset has changed. My heart has changed and my soul is completely with Him.
Oh Lord,
You hold my heart with your hands. You are my anchor that ties me down and holds my heart in such intimacy.
There was a lady who came up to me. She looked very young but had many children. Immediately, she asked me questions about my upbringing and why I was so depressed growing up as a child/teenager. She was so thankful for me and my story and I loved that. I am so blessed and I the joy I have is sticking with me forever because God is with me forever. I am so thankful for the Lord. I need Him everyday of my life. I am in awe. I could burst into tears any minute now.

Beautiful day.

The Lord works in mysterious, intimate, personal ways we can't even imagine. My heart LEAPS for joy as I wake up and see His presence. The colors that God blends together makes my soul sink. And how He wakes me up bright and early in the morning to sit still and soak in the silence of the sky. My favorite time of day is morning. I wish I could wake up that early. All glory to God for waking me up and realizing how beautiful His creation is.
I can't comprehend how He puts people in our lives. I am so thankful. I am so blessed. His plan is so perfect and all my anxieties are all casted because of Him. I have nothing to fear. I have no need to worry. I am so thankful for new people. for new friends, opportunities to LOVE.

Strange.

There have been quite a few strange things that have happened to me recently. I used to believe in coincidences. Usually when strange things happen, I begin to question why life happens the way it does, why certain people are in my life and the cause and effects of my actions. I had no faith. I did not believe in fate because I was afraid of the future. Anyway, all that to say, I do have faith. I believe in a God who comforts and quiets me to the fullest whenever strange things attack. The Holy Spirit works in ways we can't comprehend. I am amazed. And so, I leave you with this verse.


Psalms 131:2 Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me

Romance.

My romance is only towards You Oh God.
Your love is greater than all that I know.
I know your love now.
I was blinded, but now
I can see.
I can see.
Your love.
No greater passion comes from anything except from you my God.
I come before your feet
to surrender my life in exchange for your plan.
Greater than what I can see,
Your love for me is keeping me steady.
I can see.
I can see.
Your grace.
Shining brightly.
No love this world can offer is as strong as Yours.
Pure, holy is Your love.
I can see You.
I surrender.

Retreat & Realizations

I had a leadership retreat for my college ministry yesterday. Basically, our ministry has gone through lots of changes in the past semester and we are working to serve God in the precious city of Denton. There are lots of broken hearts that need to be mended and that's one of the reasons why I felt led to help. Our hearts need to break. We have to learn how to love and make relationships with others in a way that would bring them closer to the Lord. He is so gracious and so loving. My desire and longing is for everyone in my life who is lost to come to that realization and connect with the Lord in ways that you would never think would feel so tangible! This weekend was really amazing because we got to hear what other people on the leadership felt and thought about this upcoming semesters with their goals and fears. I feel like I have a deep connection with everyone and that's so amazing because we are all striving for the same desires. I love that. I am so stoked about all the ideas and all the times that we are going to spend with each other. I love that we have the same mindset on God and it's just great to be able to pray and discuss with each other the word. I am also really amazed about how loving we all are and how we are able to fellowship with each other. I love that I can stay up until 3:45 AM with these friends who just continue to make me laugh and play cards. I would stay up just to hangout like that and it was incredible to see how God is working in our lives and how He is setting that bondage with each other! How He knows how to use us as a team.. WOW. WOW. WOW.
I am so excited for this semester as well as this summer. I am just ready to serve and LOVE.
That's it.
It's all about God. He created such a beautiful world with just dust. And the hope that he brings into this world. All praise. All glory. I pray for obedience and strength for this semester that it is all in the hands of the Lord and that HE will lead me. How HE will inspire me and give me eyes to see, a tongue to speak and ears to listen intently to Him and to others. I am ready. I am pumped. Even if I have to wake up early, sleep late, sacrifice my day for someone else, carpool etc. I will if it is God's will for His Kingdom.
I have to admit, there are many many many many times where I have neglected and ignored a person while they are looking for someone to talk to them. I have realized that through Austin who is speaking from God that I cannot be ignorant like that and I CANNOT play it safe. How will that help anyone? I need to break out of this shell and I need to love. I need to care. My heart needs to be broken for others. It needs to be broken for Jesus.
And it has to learn how to love.

James.

I read the book of James today after seeing Ludi post a verse on her tumblr. I am amazed by how obedient James was to God. He was so wise and his letter was exactly what I needed to read today. I think that God works in ways that we can't comprehend. I feel that this book is exactly how I have been thinking for last couple of weeks. Faith and patience are the two things that I've been working on spiritually. I am trying my best but I know that I am not higher or better than anybody else on this Earth. Only He is greater. Therefore, I feel led to serve those who need God. Those who need love. My heart breaks for the poor because I have been blessed with everything and I think that my purpose here on this Earth is to spread God's love and love people. I was reassured by this book. I am ready.
To be honest, It has been pretty rocky these last few days just because of circumstances and situations. I tend to make excuses that will lead me further away from God and it's really difficult to get back. I am so thankful that God led me to this book and that I am now ready to get back in reading.
Praise Jesus for your sweet, sweet mercy.
Amen.

Sundays.

Sundays are usually really exciting for me. It's the first day of the week and quite refreshing. On Sundays, I am renewed by the mercy of God to bring me another beautiful week of life. On Sundays I usually have a schedule of being in Denton attending life group and then worship. However, this week I am at home. I did not realize how important it would affect my day not being there. Of course, I am to blame for the countless times I have been missing my bible readings which is affecting me alot. I am feeling more and more insignificant then I've ever felt. I have not been as faithful. I am have not been obedient. Thank God for realizations and change. God has been so faithful in my life despite the fact that I haven't. He has blessed me with such beautiful people in my life and I am so thankful for them. Therefore, He deserves all the praise! I am also without my journal right now which is really affecting my mood because I have not been consistent in writing. It is my home. It's where I express myself. I really miss that journal.
I haven't realized how important prayer was until a few days ago. I've never realized how the Holy Sprit can move so powerfully. It was amazing. I believe. I believe.

Overwhelmed.

I am so overwhelmed with joy this morning as Sudan is being set free. I have to admit, I have not been obedient in praying for their salvation but I know several of my friends have. Thank the Lord for such gracious people! Praise Jesus for an amazing turn around in a country surrounded in war, hatred, death and evil. This is very encouraging and I am in tears just in awe of the hope that God provides for His people. WOW. I will start praying for their independence until July which is the official independence month. How glorious is our God! How wonderful is He!

Isaiah 58.

Amen.

I like poetry.

My favorite poem is called I carry your heart by EE Cummings. His words flow together so sweetly and beautifully. I really like it. I even considered getting it tattooed. Anyway, I stumbled upon this one today and I think I may like it more. This one is called I Thank You God for this most amazing. It's so joyful and reminds me how beautiful God's creation is! I admire the way this also paints a picture of how God saves. How he brings life. I really like seeing God through others writing.
Thank you Mr. Cummings. You are quite a character.
Please take time to read this poem. Hope it brings you charm.

“i thank You God for this most amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
wich is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)”
— i thank you God for this most amazing by E.E. Cummings

Your love is strong.

Currently listening to Jon Foreman at the moment. I am just so blessed to have time to hangout with some really sweet people the last couple of days. I went to a greek restaurant, bowled, made pumpkin pancakes and went thrifting! I bought a sweater and dress for $4.89. My friends mean the world to me and I couldn't be more thankful for the people I have in my life. Each one of them are so unique and they all have different stories and come from different backgrounds. I am thankful for each one of them. We are here for a purpose and God has called us here for each other to lift up, encourage and strengthen us in this life. Oh how He puts people together. It's just part of His perfect plan. Oh how He amazes, Oh how He loves.

I seek beauty in your light, Oh Lord.

baby baby baby.

OH, baby!
Heather had her lil tadpole yesterday at 3:28PM. Even though there wasn't an actual party, Amanda and I definitely excited ourselves before the baby even came out. We danced, screamed and looked at baby pictures all day. I did most of the dancing and screaming. Call me crazy, I love babies. Anyway, after a run to Hobby lobby and Target, we came and met Heather. She looked so beautiful. That girl is a so strong. She didn't rip anything and didn't even shed a tear! Knowing me, I would be crying more than that baby! Heather works at Sonic and she skated while carrying a child. WOAH! She is full of courage and I look up to her for that. Thank God the baby and Heather is healthy and up and running. I pray many blessing upon mother and child and that God continues to love on her family and baby.
Congratulations!

Baby joy!

Mom and baby.

Amanda and baby.

Me and baby.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

We are humans.

We are wasting away our lives daily.

Mortality is real on this Earth.

But with Jesus our Lord of Heaven, there is a light and there is eternal life.

WIth Him, ANYTHING is possible.

Our souls are renewed everyday because Jesus loves us.

We take up the cross everyday as a reminder to how small and insignificant we are compared to Him and His plan for us.

All the things on this Earth is incomparable to His love, His grace, His mercy.

Therefore, I am nothing and my eyes are fixed only to You.

Things that inspire me.

I get easily inspired by lots of things.
Let me share some with you. :)

Jesus is love. He is the reason why I am here. Somebody died for me. He sacrificed His life for my sins. He is love. He is the only one I will follow. He is the reason why I'm alive. He is the reason for the life I have now. He is my God, Savior and He loves me unconditionally. Inspiration? Yes. Because of Jesus, I am able to see Him through other creation that God has created. Amazing? Yes!

Trees are beautiful. Besides statues and buildings, what else can stand that still? That's right, trees! Trees come in so many different sizes and praise the Lord for that kind of beauty! I really admire how some tree trunks are chubby while others are stick skinny. Lovely! My favorite quality about a trees is their ability to stand still. It reminds me of standing still in front of God and obeying His word, obeying Him. Thus, trees inspire me. Leaves are apart of a tree. Therefore, whenever the wind blows and it falls, I always think of God peeling off the layers of our soul in attempt to getting into the root of our core. I also think that leaves are very obedient to the wind. They dance and rejoice as the wind blows them. So beautiful. I always think of how we as Christians follow God and rejoice in His name while singing His name. Inspired much? *Raises my hand*

My friend is pregnant and I can't stop thinking about her because her due date was two days ago. Ridiculous. She should already have her daughter because I am so excited to hold that little tadpole. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I am inspired by birth. Birth is such a weird thing. I always think about having a baby and it's so strange picturing myself carrying another human being in your stomach. Well technically not your stomach, but you get the point. A life in your body? Precious! Whenever I think about birth, I always think about how pure and holy that baby is when they come out of their mother's womb. Speechless. Brings me to tears. I've never witnessed watching a real birth but just thinking about it at this very moment makes me choke! Nonetheless, thinking about that moment of new life arriving on this earth amazes me.

Feed my soul with music. Ever since I was in 6th grade, I was motivated by music. It was the only thing that made me happy at that period of my life. Even up to the age of 18. It was the only thing that I loved. It was my only outlet. My only friend. I was and still am the type of music seeker to search for bands that no one has ever heard of. I am absolutely open to every kind of music. If it makes me think, dance, cry, scream, sing along. I'd like it. I'm a lyric listener. I love poetry. And music was my emotional outlet. I have to admit, sometimes I still rely on it but it has strengthened me and it helped me cope with my emotions. Also, songs have stories and it's just so amazing to see that play out in song. I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU, MUSIC!

More inspirational things coming soon!
I need a break. Byeee.

water

How I got into this About six months ago, my best friend told me about this charity called charity:water. She was inspired by how they were saving thousands of lives by providing fresh water to countries around the world who don't have access to clean water. She told me that if you donate $20 to the organization they would provide clean water for a one person for up to 20 years!
Water is essential to life. I was so amazed so I did some research. I remember sitting in the computer lab for 4 hours on a Friday night looking through tons of pictures and videos of dirty water. I learned very quickly that currently, 1 billion people on this Earth don't have access to clean water. That's 1 out of 8 people. Their water consist of E Coli, Hepatitis A, cow manure, pond, dirt, mud.. you get the point. They use this water to cook, bath, and drink. I mean, how do you use your water? Yeah, they use their water for the same reasons you and I do. Only difference is that our water is clear and clean compared to theirs. Dirty water leads to illnesses such as diarrhea which then would lead to face tumors. More severe, life threatening diseases. The life expectancy for people using this water is 38 years old. Children are uneducated because they are spending at least 8 hours a day in search for water. Women are unemployed because they are also spending their finding water. This leads to loss of dignity and loss of hope. They carry their water in Jerry cans (Yes, the ones you use to hold your gasoline). They carry around bright yellow tanks which hold up to 40-80 lbs.
Enough of all these statistics, charity water donates 100% of the public donations to the people who need it. They have two separate accounts. One for their team and one for water. And you ask, how will these people obtain clean water? Well, Charity: water has teamed up with some friends to help build wells that would feed a whole village! This past year they were able to give 1.4 million people clean water. Amazing. Yet, we still have a long way to go. Praise the Lord for an organization dedicated to saving lives and providing the most essential element to live: clean water.
Meet the man behind all of this. I am so humbled by the creator of charity. His name is Scott Harrison and he is my inspiration. After high school, he joined the party scene and got paid to drink for different companies. He eventually owned a high end club and made millions of money. He had everything. Eventually, he came back to God and became a man of faith. He applied to volunteer or work for many charities but got denied from many of them because of his resume of working as a night club owner. However, one organization accepted him (they had to because he was the only one who applied) and he sailed across the world to take pictures of people who had huge tumors on their faces in hopes of the doctors (who worked with this organization) to perform surgery. Those surgeries did work. However, many, I mean thousands of people were denied from this because they didn't have the time and money. It made Scott furious. So, he did some research and he realized that people were drinking, eating this water that made them terribly sick.

Thus, Charity:water was born.

Self Reflection. I realized that I was taking water for granted; and, that I personally waste gallons of water every day. Feeling like someone was shaking me, I started crying and feeling guilty about how I was taking my life for granted. I felt guilty and awful for using water like I had access to all the water I could possibly imagine. Reality check! Also, another crucial part I forgot to mention was the fact that they take photos of people accepting and drinking their new clean water!! As I was looking through those, I was sobbing and smiling at the same time. You know, whenever you smile really hard and you for some reason you're forcing yourself to stop but you can't, well that's the smile that I smiled every time I see a photo of the day or other pictures of genuine joy and contentment. Looking at those precious children getting water is God giving hope, salvation, joy, LIFE. It is truly amazing to know that these kids will have the possibility to go to school and receive and education. For women, dignity and hope to become leaders in their villages. AMAZING. BREATH TAKING. BEAUTIFUL.

I'm going to do something about this! I was trying to figure out what I could do to give back. I realized that I am currently unemployed and I had bigger plans than just giving $20 for a t-shirt and say I gave somebody 20 years of clean water. I wanted to go out with a bang. So I applied for a position on the Helping Hands Executive board (volunteer organization at school). I got the position that I wanted to plan special events and make charity my focus in the spring. Well, it's almost the spring semester now and I am so thankful, eager, full of joy that God has led me to this point. He has provided me with opportunities to serve Him. He broke my heart and made me realize how insignificant I am and how there are so many out their who are hurting, suffering and dying. I have a purpose. God is so good. He is faithful. He is love. I am deeply inspired by charity: water and Scott Harrison. May you always be in my heart. Excited to see what my ideas have to offer!
Here is the official website: http://www.charitywater.org/ , http://www.charitywater.org/media/videos/media.php

I recommend that you should check theses links out. All of them on the site! Trust me, it's worth it. I mean, if you've made it through reading up to this point. Might as well! :)

Photographs that make me smile. Hope they make you smile too.

All information was found at http://www.charitywater.org/

All glory to God for such a wonderful year!

2010 has probably been the best year of my life. Even through failures, mishaps, broken relationships and mistakes this year, I have learned, repented, forgave, apologized. I sacrificed my old life for a new one which is far greater than anything this world could offer. Meeting and having a relationship with God has changed my life and He has taken me far. Farther than I could have done for myself. I am nothing. I control nothing but I have learned to love. I have learned to love God, love myself and love people. With the year coming to a close, I have realized how much God has molded my life into seeing the world in a different perspective and He is continuing to work in my life by providing, caring and loving. He is the center of my universe and all I ask for this upcoming year is staying obedient to Him and continuing to serve. I am thankful for all the people I have met this past year. I am so blessed and thankful for friends and family. Thank you so much to those who have pushed, challenged, encouraged, loved, cared and laughed for/with me. Much love to each and every single one of you.

I am most thankful for the gift of joy. I have never experienced it before prior to encountering Jesus. I am so thankful for the experiences that have happened in the past because I would have never become who I am now if it wasn’t for those experiences. I would not take back or change anything from the past. No regrets.

Thankful, blessed, loved, joyful.

Come on 2011, I’m ready. :)

Meagan