we are mist.

and poof. we are gone. (james)
We are so tiny. And yet we feel like we're the only person on this earth. (well, that's how I see it sometimes) how selfish and arrogant of me.
But,
God is so much stronger. So much greater. His love is everlasting and His plan is genius.
Oh Lord,
I am desperate for Your Spirit. Thirsty for Your presence and longing for You. I have to admit, the past week has been chaotic and I was in constant motion. But today. I was moving with Him. I'm really thankful for this day. Especially just spending time walking with Him. It was intimate and refreshing to know that He is my strength and without Him, I can't function.
I needed that reminder. I always need that. I am disobedient and unworthy. I have lost myself slowly for my journey in searching for my identity in Christ.
I need to know the Spirit. I need to be desperate for it. I need to be completely dependent on the Lord.

And I've realized that I have been trying to do things on my own (because it is so easy to) (that was a really bad excuse) nonetheless--the simple things- like eating whatever I want whenever I want. I need to start allowing Him to provide me with food. living out proverbs 30:7.

 ⁷ “Two things I ask of you, O LORD; 
   do not refuse me before I die: 
⁸ Keep falsehood and lies far from me; 
   give me neither poverty nor riches, 
   but give me only my daily bread. 
⁹ Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you 
   and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ 
Or I may become poor and steal, 
   and so dishonor the name of my God.

Sitting here, I almost feel like screaming and breaking something because I felt like I forgot Him.
That is a super scary thought because if I wasn't dependent on Him and being obedient, who was I being dependent upon?
So, I share this with you because this has been on my heart for the longest time and it's been a struggle.
Lord, please, please, please give me just what I need so that I won't forget you again. My desire is You, Jesus and I pray that You come into my heart and lead me. Lord, I'm also praying that You make sure that I'm denying myself for Your spirit. That You are working through me. Praying for focus and just simply obedience.
More of You, Less of me. Please, Lord. I'm pleading and praying.
Thank You for Your continually love. I don't deserve it but yet You've freely given it to me. I pray that others will encounter You.
-me